How Does Your Garden Grow?

Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Growing in the Outdoors
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they encourage their children to connect with nature and dig in the dirt. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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I have not gardened very much - really not at all.  Not since I was a child and really enjoyed finding earthworms.  I'm allergic to bees and I have Irish skin to boot.  The outdoors and I have shared an understanding - I won't try to mold you to my ways and nature won't try to kill me.  The house I bought with my hubby three and half years ago had sat neglected and empty for nearly a year.  The woman who had owned the house had a garden though.  How do I know?  I found this plaque in the "weeds" from my vantage point of the back deck.  There are raspberry plants all over my yard.  I have yet to have any because they attract all sorts of flying, stinging insects and then by the time I realize the flowers are gone and there might be fruit there - the deer have already feasted on them.

A Tale of Four Milky Mamas

Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they advocate for healthy, gentle parenting choices compassionately. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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The second principle of attachment parenting is to “feed with love and respect.” This means to practice full term breastfeeding if possible and to respond to baby with love and respect regardless of whether you are feeding using your breast or a bottle. I would like to share how I do both in my life and also how I help other moms to do the same.

I have nursed Little Man for 13 months and 14 days as of the publishing of this article. I have done this because it is his choice when to stop nursing. For the first 2 months he was bottle fed my milk as I exclusively pumped. I pumped my milk for him because I had been given improper medical advice. I had little support and nearly lost my supply. I had to supplement his diet. At first I did not know that I had any other option other than formula and because of my parenting choices - I felt like I had failed my son. When my childhood friend found out that I was supplementing and how upset I was by it - she offered me her freezer of pumped milk. I can never thank her enough and could never repay the debt I feel I owe her.

I returned to traditional breastfeeding and was able to raise my supply with the support of the same friend and a lactation consultant. My supply returned and I was able to feed Little Man in the way I wanted. I returned to work though and again my supply dropped and I was struggling to keep up. I found help through Natural Parenting Network and was able to begin co-sleeping to raise my supply. I was also able to start my own small freezer of milk.

A few days before Little Man's first birthday, I looked in our freezer at the small amount of milk I had been hoarding just in case I ran out and needed more. It was going to expire faster then I could have defrosted it and had him drink it. I did not want it to go to waste - I've worked so hard to maintain a milk supply over the past year. It would be a slap in the face if I tossed it out so I jumped on Facebook and searched out the page I'd heard talk of before but never paid much attention to before, Eats on Feets - now Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HB4HB). I followed the links to find my local chapter, I posted under the 'Milk to Share' discussion and waited.

Luckily, I did not wait long as I might have changed my mind. Anne contacted me in need of milk for her daughter. Her email was short and she was direct.

Hello. I saw your post on Eats and Feets and would be very interested in picking up any spare milk you may have for my daughter. Thanks so much. Anne

Since I had no experience being on the giving side I had no idea what to expect. My donor had been a lifelong friend who had offered me extra milk when I was in need. This was a stranger - who did not know me and was trusting me with the well being of her child. I replied to the email, asking her where she was located and where I was generally located. We made a plan to meet at the local Babies R Us at 10 am.

I waited apprehensively in my car. I had forwarded what little information I knew about this woman to my husband - just in case[1] It was a rainy Sunday so I did not get out of the car as I had planned to wait for her. The store was not open yet anyway. I watched out my window and the mirrors at the strangers in the parking lot for any sign of the look I had worn on my face not so long ago. It is a mixture of desperation, fear and hope. Finally I saw her, my phone rang and we connected. It was a very short exchange. I put my small donation in her cooler along with the note I had hastily written about defrosting and storage - I had no idea if she was accustomed to this method of storage and feeding. We exchanged awkward goodbyes and ran to our separate cars. I called my husband - told him I was done and drove home.

When I got there and the pit of anxiety had faded - I emailed Anne again and told her that if she ever found herself in need again to please call, text or email and I would try to give her what I could. I did not hear from her for a few days but I finally got a message. She thanked me and told me that her daughter had liked my milk and she was grateful. It was at that moment that I felt I had come full circle. I was actually on my way to see my former donor when I got that message for dinner. I thought to myself, ‘I can do this, I can help other moms.’

After the initial excitement wore off an old familiar feeling crept over me: ‘What if I lose my supply again?’  What would I do for milk?  How can I feed two babies when I struggled to feed just one a few months ago?

I decided to answer Anne’s call whenever she called me if I had spare milk. I could not stress myself out over the what-if’s in life. I have since been able to donate about 90 ounces to Anne over three separate occasions - that is a lot when you think I used to struggle with my supply day-to-day. I still do not know Anne well but she is my sister-mama. I help with what I can to ensure that Anne is able to feed with love and respect however she chooses to feed her daughter.

Shortly after meeting Anne I began an extreme fitness program which has an included diet plan. I was initially worried that the plan my hinder my milk production. Well quite the opposite is true - my milk has increased and some of the worry I felt about feeding Little Man and Anne’s daughter has disappeared. I met another mom, Joy on Natural Parents Network who was struggling with her supply and thought that her only option would be to wean. I reached out to Joy and shared my experience and advice with her.

This was her response which still brings fresh tears to my eyes.

First, thank you so much for taking the time to write me your advice! The nerves, the uncertainty I was feeling left as soon as I started to read. It's amazing what other's words can do for you! You made me realize how I had slowly let myself forget about still eating for 2 and needing to get [all] my calories! The same day you wrote I heard from another lady about how I should be having a lot of protein and that was a first. I'm not big into meat but I'm working on getting protein into my diet. I do eat a lot of spinach but hadn't touched it once in the last week so I went right back to that too! It all WORKED!!!!! My milk has been dropping, and [now] I'm getting more!!! It's wonderful!!!!!! Thank you so much for you[r] advice! I prayed that God would see me through this, however that needed to happen, and you were an answer to [my] prayers! Thanks again SO much![2]

I cannot express how happy any of this makes me to be able to not only continue my own choices in parenting but to help other moms to do the same. If someone pays you a kindness today - look for the opportunity to do the same for someone else. You never know how far you can go.

Resources

Calorie Calculator for Women from About.com
Which foods can boost your milk supply? from Motherwear Blog


1. In retrospect this seems very silly. However, being the daughter of a retired police officer, living in the region of the US that I do my guard is always up. Even more so since Little Man came along and was in the car.
2. Response edited for readability only.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Natural Parenting Advocacy by Example — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction uses her blog, Twitter and Facebook as her natural parenting soapbox.
• You Catch More Flies With Honey — When it comes to natural parenting advice, Kate of The Guavalicious Life believes you catch more flies with honey.
• From the Heart — Patti at Jazzy Mama searches her heart for an appropriate response when she learns that someone she respects wants his baby to cry-it-out.
• I Offer the Truth — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares the hard truths to inspire parents in making changes and fully appreciating the parenting experience.
• Advocating or Just Opinionated? — Momma Jorje discusses how to draw the line between advocating compassionately and being just plain opinionated. It can be quite a fine line.
• Compassionate Advocacy — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting writes about how to discuss topics you are passionate about with people who don't share your views.
• Heiny Helpers: Sharing Cloth Love — Heiny Helpers is guest posting on Natural Parents Network to share how they are providing cloth diapers and cloth diapering support to low income families.
• Struggling with Advocacy — April of McApril still struggles to determine how strongly she should advocate for her causes, but still loves to show her love for her parenting choices to those who would like to listen.
• Compassionate Advocacy Through Blogging (AKA –Why I Blog) — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how both blogging and day-to-day life give her opportunities to compassionately advocate for natural parenting practices.
• A Letter to *Those* Parents — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares how to write an informed yet respectful reply to those parents — you know, the ones who don't parent the way you do.
• Why I Am Not A Homebirth Advocate — Olivia at Write About Birth is coming out: she is a homebirth mom, but not a homebirth advocate. One size does not fit all – but choice is something we can all advocate for!
• Why I Open My Big Mouth — Wolfmother from Fabulous Mama Chronicles reflects on why she is passionate about sharing parenting resources.
• Watching and Wearing — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life advocates the joys of babywearing simply by living life in a small college town.
• Compassionate Advocacy . . . That's The Way I Do It — Amyables at Toddler in Tow describes how she's learned to forsake judgment and channel her social energy to spread the "good news" of natural parenting through interaction and shared experiences.
• Compelling without repelling — Lauren at Hobo Mama cringes when she thinks of the obnoxious way she used to berate people into seeing her point of view.
• I Am the Change — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro describes a recent awakening where she realized exactly how to advocate for natural parenting.
• Public Displays of Compassion — The Accidental Natural Mama recounts an emotional trip to the grocery store and the importance of staying calm and compassionate in the storm of toddler emotions.
• I will not hide behind my persona — Suzi Leigh at Attached at the Boob discusses the benefits of being honest and compassionate on the internet.
• Choosing My Words — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares why she started her blog and why she continues to blog despite an increasingly hectic schedule.
• Honour the Child :: Compassionate Advocacy in the Classroom — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree shares her experience of being a gentle and compassionate parent — with other people's children — as a classroom volunteer in her daughter's senior kindergarten room.
• Inspired by the Great Divide (and Hoping to Inspire) — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis shares her thoughts on navigating the "great divide" through gently teaching and being teachable.
• Introverted Advocacy — CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy shares how she advocates for gentle parenting, even though she is about as introverted as one can be.
• The Three R's of Effective and Gentle Advocacy — Ana at Pandamoly explains how "The Three R's" can yield consistent results and endless inspiration to those in need of some change.
• Passionate and Compassionate: How do We do It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares the importance of understanding your motivation for advocacy.
• Sharing the love — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about how she shares the love and spreads the word.
• What Frank Said — Nada at miniMOMist has a good friend named Frank. She uses his famous saying to demonstrate how much natural parenting has benefited her and her family.
• Baby Sling Carriers Make Great Compassionate Advocacy Tools — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shared her babywearing knowledge — and her sling — with a new mom.
• Everyday Superheroes — Who needs Superman when we have a community of compassionate advocates?! Dionna at Code Name: Mama believes that our community of gentle bloggers are the true superheroes.
• Words of advice: compassionately advocating for my parenting choices — MrsH at Fleeting Moments waits to give advice until she's been asked, resulting in fewer advocacy moments but very high responsiveness from parents all over the spectrum of parenting approaches.
• Peaceful Parenting — Peaceful parenting shows at Living Peacefully with Children with an atypical comment from a stranger.
• Speaking for birth — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud soul-searches about how she can advocate for natural birth without causing offense.
• Gentle is as Gentle Does — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how she is gently advocating her parenting style.
• Walking on Air — Rachael at The Variegated Life wants you to know that she has no idea what she's doing — and it's a gift.
• Parenting with my head, my heart, and my gut — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her thoughts on being a compassionate advocate of natural parenting as a blogger.
• At Peace With the World — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry talks about being an advocate for peaceful parenting at 10,000 feet.
• Putting a public face on "holistic" — Being public about her convictions is a must for Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama, but it takes some delicacy.
• Just Be; Just Do. — Amy at Anktangle believes strongly about her parenting methods, and also that the way to get people to take notice is to simply live her life and parent the best she knows how.
• One Parent at a Time... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that advocating for Natural Parenting is best accomplished by walking the walk.
• Self-compassion — We're great at caring for and supporting others —from our kiddos to other mamas — but Lisa at Gems of Delight shares a post about treating ourselves with that same sense of compassion.
• Using Montessori Principles to Advocate Natural Parenting — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells how she uses Montessori principles to be a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.
• Advocacy? Me? — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers that by "just doing her thing," she may be advocating for natural parenting.
• Feeding by Example — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip shares her experience of being the first one of her generation to parent.
• Compassionate Consumerism — Erica at ChildOrganics encourages her children to be compassionate consumers and discusses the benefits of buying local and fair trade products.
• The Importance of Advocating Compassionately — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood acts as a compassionate advocate by sharing information with many in the hopes of reaching a few.
• Some Thoughts on Gentle Discipline — Darcel at The Mahogany Way shares her thoughts and some tips on Gentle Discipline.
• Compassionate Advocacy: Sharing Resources, Spreading the Love — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle shares how her passion for making natural choices in pregnancy, birth, and parenting have supported others in Dominica and beyond.
• A journey to compassion and connection — Jessica at Instead of Institutions shares her journey from know-it-all to authentic advocacy.
• Advocacy Through Openness, Respect, and Understanding — Melissa at The New Mommy Files describes her view on belief, and how it has shaped the way she advocates for gentle parenting choices.
• Why I'm not an advocate for Natural Parenting — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog delivers the shocking news that, after 10 years of being a mum, she is NOT an advocate for natural parenting!
• Natural Love Creates Natural Happiness — A picture is worth a thousand words, but how about a smile, or a giggle, or a gaze? Jessica at Cloth Diapering Mama’s kids are extremely social and their natural happiness is very obvious.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy — Even in the progressive SF Bay Area, Lily at Witch Mom finds she must defend some of her parenting choices.
• A Tale of Four Milky Mamas — In this post The ArtsyMama shares how she has found ways to repay her childhood friend for the gift of milk.
• don't tell me what to do — Pecky at benny and bex demonstrates compassionate advocacy through leading by example.

Ten Things I Wish I Knew Before Little Man

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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There are things that I know now that I wish I knew then.  I cannot say I regret my decisions but I would have liked to have the information on most of these items before.

CNP: I cannot imagine parenting without ________.

Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Essentials
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared the parenting essentials that they could not live without. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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When this prompt came across my screen for The Carnival of Natural Parenting I got two gut responses.  The first one being the identity of my parenting essential - the second being what would the reaction be to that item that I identify as the one thing I could not parent without.  I decided that it was too important to my story to not write about this and really to heck with the people that might feel that I should not be writing about this for a blog carnival for natural parenting ideals.

Finding My Tools

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Learning from children



This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared the many lessons their children have taught them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.



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I know that most people feel with your first child you are overly protective and with subsequent children you have a more "realistic" or relaxed position on safety and cleanliness. I'm not sure if it is just me but I don't feel the need to sanitize everything he touches or to worry that the house has its own herd of dust-bunnies roaming freely across my wood floors. My feeling is if I can touch it and not feel grossed out then he can too. Besides there is that old saying 'a little dirt, never hurt.'

My poor friend's cats have been quarantined to the upper part of her apartment because her son, only 5 weeks older then Little Man, was eating the hair. In contrast Little Man regularly gives open mouth kisses to our pugs and cats. To those of you that are freaking out a bit about that statement our cats are indoor only animals and the pugs go out to do their business and hightail it back inside to the comfort of the couch as soon as possible.

I wouldn't say our house is filthy but neither myself or Hubby have time to run around picking up every little piece of fluff, dust or speck of dirt in our home. So Sundays are my usual big clean up day and the rest of the week if it isn't a hazardous waste spill, I usually leave it until later.

So what has been the point of my airing of our "dirty laundry" cleaning practices? Which, reminds me I have to turn the wash over. I picked up Little Man from daycare and found him with hands in the diaper pail while, his teacher told me emphatically how he showed them his new trick, walking unassisted. All I wanted to say was "EWW, how could you let my baby get into the diaper pail!?" Instead I said, "Yucky Little Man, stay out of the garbage." Why did I scold my child, he though that the swinging lid was exciting and I feel a pang of guilt about my reaction. I let him explore and don't worry that much about what he touches at home and I probably never taught him that the garbage is not something to go sticking your hands in, so he didn't know any better.

I have a lot of these moments, not Little Man doing something cringe-worthy, but discovering that I don't always have the right tool at the exact moment that I need it. I'm taking this time to practice admitting that I don't always have the right answer with my child. At 10 months he probably doesn't understand what I'm trying to tell him about how I'm sorry that I overreacted yesterday or that I should have let him do this or that 20 minutes ago. But, I am learning to check my gut reaction for the next time or the art of the apology and discussion of decisions, for the future when he does understand more.

This new skill is actually helping me in my work as a high school teacher. I used to hate it when my mother would tell me something and when I asked why she would say,"Because I said so." Even though I hated it, I always ended up doing what she asked because she was my mom and what she said went. When I first started teaching I found myself saying that phrase when my students questioned the school rules or my decisions. It is a nifty little phrase that shows you have authority and you don't necessarily have to explain your reasons why. A lot of the time I thought that the students shouldn't ask what the reasons were.

Now that I have Little Man I question this because if I can't answer why for myself it is foolish for anyone to blindly follow a direction or rule if they don't understand the reason for that decision. Just because something has always been done a certain way does not mean that is the only way of going about it and that no one should ask why we do it that way. Questioning is why and how we have so many advances and conveniences in our society today. Since I've had this change of heart about how much I share of my reasons or what the reason is behind my decisions my classroom has been much smoother in its operation.

Just telling Little Man to keep his hands out of the garbage and expecting him to listen because I said to keep them out does not help him to understand why it is important to keep his hands out. So if I had that scene at the daycare to do all over again here is what I would have liked to tell Little Man. "Little Man, the garbage is for all the dirty things in this world that we no longer want and shouldn't touch. You are the best little boy in the world and no one should ever put you in the trash. So please keep your hands out- that way no one gets confused between you and the garbage." Here's hoping that I handle things with him in a more enlightened way and that I am always open to the discussion and if necessary, the apology in the future.

Update:The next day I went to daycare and was told he had been in the garbage three times that day. I told him exactly what I had rehearsed in this post. The following day his teacher reported that he didn't go near the garbage once.


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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!


Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:


(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 11 with all the carnival links.)

• Affection — Alicia at I Found My Feet has finally become a hugger and kisser, now she has someone sweet and small to snuggle with. (@aliciafagan)
• Learning from Daniel — Amy at Anktangle hopes that she and her husband will always be open to learning from their son. (@anktangle)
• Kids Cultivate Awareness of Universal Truths — From forgiveness to joy, Amy Phoenix at Innate Wholeness has become aware of deep truths that come naturally to children. (@InnateWholeness)
• What the Apple Teaches the Tree — Becky at Future Legacy has learned about imagination, forgiveness, and strength.
• A Lesson in Slowing Time — Bethy at Bounce Me To the Moon revels in the chance to just be with her baby.
• Learning From My Children: I Am So Honored — WAHM Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey is learning to choose tea parties over work. (@MyMotheringPath)
• P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E — Now that she's a mother, Danielle at born.in.japan is finally learning about a personality trait she lacked. (@borninjp)
• Top 5 Homeschool Lessons My Children Taught Me — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares what she learned from homeschooling her (now grown) children. (@DebChitwood)
• Learning to Live in the Present By Looking to the Future — Dionna at Code Name: Mama finds the patience to be a gentle parent, because she knows how fleeting childhood really is. (@CodeNameMama)
• The watchful Buddha boy — At Dreaming Aloud, they are learning to cherish their thoughtful, sensitive child in a action-driven, noisy world. (@DreamingAloudNt)
• What My Children Taught Me — Dulce de Leche's children have taught her to value herself for the wonderful person and mother she is.
• Lessons from the First Year — Having a child made Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama realize that her decisions affect more than just herself. (@CrunchyishMama)
• Lessons from Loss — Erica at ChildOrganics learned so much from the love — and loss — of her sweet Bella, five years ago. (@ChildOrganics)
• The Socratic Baby — Erin at Multiple Musings has so-called "identical" twins to serve as a daily lesson in nature vs. nurture. (@ErinLittle)
• Learning to be a Mother — Farmer's Daughter learned the type of patience that enabled her to calmly eat one-handed for months and change clothes seven times a day, before noon. (@FarmDaughter)
• A Few Things Being a Mom Has Taught Me — Heather at Musing Mommy shares the curious, hilarious, and sometimes Murphy's Law-like tidbits we learn from our children. (@xakana)
• I Feel You — Motherhood has taught Jamey from At the Bee Hive empathy, and it extends beyond just her child. (@JameyBly)
• Lessons From My Child… — Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy shares the inspiring ways she's learned to expect the unexpected — and have a camera ready! (@imaftmummy)
• My child is my mirror — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama has seen herself in her children – and it's not bad. (@crunchychewy)
• There is enough to go around… — Kellie at Our Mindful Life learned that love doesn't diminish when it's shared.
• Learning From Our Children, Every Day — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia, Canada is continually inspired by her children. (@UsborneBooksCB)
• Life Lessons From My Children — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood has learned that every slug is fascinating, doing the dishes is fun, and sharing a banana is a delight. (@crunchymamato2)
• Things I've Learned From My Children — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings uses pictures to share what she has learned from her children. (@sunfrog)
• Beyond the questions lies the answer — Lauren at Hobo Mama stopped wondering and started knowing — loving and liking our children comes naturally. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Learning from Children — Lily, aka Witch Mom, finds out just how enchanting balloons can be. (@LilyShahar)
• Lifelong Learning — Lindsay at Living in Harmony has learned that what works for one kid might not work for another. (@AttachedMama)
• Walking alongside my daughter — Lindsey at Mama Cum Laude is learning to give the clock less power over her family's life.
• Things my baby taught me about me — Luschka at Diary of a First Child is proud of how she has grown as a mother. (@lvano)
• From my children, I have learned — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip has a litany of beautiful lessons, from selflessness to sleeplessness.
• The Little Things in Life — In a simple and lovely prose poem, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shows how adults worry about the wrong things and forget the little, important ones: watching ladybugs, jumping in leaves, cherishing each moment as it comes.
• The Virtues of Motherhood — Melissa at The New Mommy Files has had opportunities to learn from children as both a teacher and a mother. (@NewMommyFiles)
• My Kids Have Taught Me That It's Time To Stop Blogging — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has learned that childhoods fly by too fast to blog. We'll miss your wonderful online presence, Melodie, and we wish you much peace and happiness. (@bfmom)
• Having Kids Has Taught me a Thing or Two — Michelle at The Parent Vortex learns all day long — from fun facts about hedgehogs to tying a complicated wrap with a screaming child and an audience. (@TheParentVortex)
• We Could All Learn from the Children — Momma Jorje takes time to get on the floor and play so that she can see the world through her child's eyes.
• Teaching Forgiveness — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has a daughter who's taught her unconditional love — even when she feels like she does't deserve it. (@littlegreenblog)
• Parenting as a joint venture — Olivia at Write About Birth appreciates watching the astonishing way her children learn. (@writeaboutbirth)
• Beginner's Mind — Rachael at The Variegated Life learns from a child who builds bridges to nowhere, calls letter magnets his numbers, and insists dinnertime is truck time. (@RachaelNevins)
• A baby's present — RS at A Haircut and a Shave presents a short poem on the differences between a baby's mindfulness and ours.
• Self-Confidence Was Born With My Daughter — Sara at Halfway Crunchy learned to trust her instincts by responding to her child's needs — and saw her self-confidence bloom.
• The Importance of Being Less Earnest — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante has one list of earnest and one list of silly things she has learned as a parent. (@seonaid_lee)
• Lessons my children have taught me — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes learned that attachment parenting was the best way to meet the needs of her child and herself. (@Sheryljesin)
• Till the water is clear — Stacy at Mama-Om learns that being present is the best present. (@mama_om)
• I Hold It — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine has learned that the ability to communicate is much more important than the number of words a child knows.
• What My Children Taught Me About Letting Go — Summer at Finding Summer is learning from her kids to laugh in the face of heartache. (@summerminor)
• Finding My Tools — The Artsymama has applied some of what she's learned as a mama in the classroom, with great results!

My Holiday Family Traditions

Welcome to the December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let's Talk Traditions


This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama.



Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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There are two things I remember about holidays with my family above all the food, presents or whatever else we were celebrating.  The first was the family games after all the hoopla settled down. It didn't matter what holiday we were celebrating, you could be certain my mom was going to pull out one of two games or both depending on how early we started or how late everyone wanted to stay. I would like to share those two games with you as well as how I have adjusted that to fit my family.We never knew how many people were going to be joining us for the holiday dinner.  You see, our family has always fluctuated in its size both growing and shrinking.  We also never subscribed to the saying "You can't choose your family" and adopted family members as the years went on. That very fluid family structure led to a very loose and open guest list for holidays.

The first game which you might already be familiar with is UNO, a card game that does not have a limit on the amount of players that can play at one time.  That part was a key reason that UNO became part of our family games.  The thing is, though, it was fun and simple.  You matched numbers or color suits and as a child it really helped to establish recall and strategy skills.  You also got a good lesson on adding and subtracting snuck in there when it came to awarding points.  I think our favorite part was how poor Auntie Ann (an adopted relative) could not remember the rules and would always lose the challenge.
The second game which you may or may not be familiar with is Tri-Ominos which is a game similar to dominos.  This game also helped with matching and adding and was pretty complicated with how bonus points are awarded but once you learned the rules was really fun to play.  We played on a lazy-susan that my father had done a wood-burning on which allowed all players to get an equal view of the board.  I can remember getting so excited when I saw the quilted handbag coming out that contained the pieces and hearing the tiles click together as each player shook the bag in order to get the best tile selection to start the game.
Now as to our holiday tradition of adopting family members.  If my family knew that you didn't have anywhere to go on the holidays they welcomed you with open arms.  For many years it was my Mom and Dad hosting the holidays and our family would come over and bring their friends with them to share our food and traditions.  Auntie Ann was a woman my Nana worked with who was an immigrant from Ireland with no relations here in America.  My Uncle brought someone along every year from where he worked as well until his friend became a permanent fixture at our family table and in our home.
After my Nana returned to England and both my Grandfather and Grandmother passed away, we became the adopted "family" to our neighbors who welcomed our family into their homes on holidays so we could make new traditions and of course UNO and Tri-Ominos came with us in our travels.  When my parents retired to the south they and their neighbors took turns hosting each other during the holidays so that no one was left alone far from family homes.  I was lucky enough to be adopted into my college friend's family who has now become part of my real family after I married her brother.  Now for our first Christmas with Little Man, we are hosting it at our home and bringing together our two families and of course some extra adopted members.  I'll be dragging out that quilted bag full of tiles, and I called my Mom to be sure to pack the deck of UNO cards.  Don't worry, the lazy-susan is there as well, so I can pass on what I remember most from our holidays with my son and my newly expanded family.

Bag of Tri-Ominos ready to go on the lazy-susan my Dad decorated.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon December 14 with all the carnival links.)

• Traditions? What traditions? — Olivia at Write About Birth needs your advice: how can she make the most of the holiday season in a new country with only her immediate family? (@writeaboutbirth)
• TRADITION!!!!!! — Ella at My Intentional Journey reminds us all to be thankful for family traditions; there are those who have none.
• tradition! — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine came to realize that families can make incredible memories, even if they're not wealthy (or organized).
• Taking a child's perspective on traditions — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to keep in mind how important even the mundane traditions will be to her little ones. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Sunday Dinners and Lullabies — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment finds traditions in the small things throughout the year.
• Simple Family Advent Traditions — Michelle at The Parent Vortex crafted a set of advent bags with daily surprises to eat and to do. (@TheParentVortex)
• Parenting: Family Meetings - A Timeless Tradition — Amy Phoenix at Innate Wholeness discusses a year-round tradition in her household: Family Meetings. (@InnateWholeness)
• Our Mindful Holidays — They may not be "traditional" traditions, but they fit the family of Kellie at Our Mindful Life.
• Our Holiday Tradtions, New and Old — Even with three young children, Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings is finding ways to be intentional and meaningful about holiday traditions. (@sunfrog)
• Our Cupcake Custom — Amy at Anktangle knows celebrations need minimal excuse and lots of cupcakes! (@anktangle)
• On the bunny slope of tradition-making — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is finding her groove as a holistic-minded mama with a joyful holiday spirit. (@crunchychewy)
• No, Virginia, There Is Not a Santa Claus — Just because her family is not going to do Santa, does not mean that Sheila at A Gift Universe can't instill some mystery and magic into Christmas. (@agiftuniverse)
• New Traditions — Becky at Future Legacy shares a few traditions she is starting for her family, including popovers, a birthday banner, and service.
• My Holiday Family Traditions — The Artsymama continues a long tradition of adopting family members and sharing two favorite games that work well for a crowd.
• Mindfully Creating Family Traditions — Alison at BluebirdMama has ideas for celebrating birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Christmas — though her family's still figuring some of it out. (@bluebirdmama)
• Memorable Traditions — Lori Ann at MamaWit follows four mindful steps when instituting any tradition.
• Let's Talk Traditions — Lily, aka Witch Mom shares her family's traditions that are centered on the wheel of the year. (@lilyshahar)
• Homeschool Christmas — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now did not always celebrate the Christmas season in the same way with her family, but they always celebrated together. (@DebChitwood)
• Holidays, food and family — For Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood, the holidays are about family and food. (@crunchymamato2)
• Giving Christmas to the Critter — Rachael at The Variegated Life has found a way to tie her Zen practices to the Christmas story of the baby in the manger. (@RachaelNevins)
• Family Traditions + To Santa Or Not To Santa — Stop by Natural Parents Network to discover some of the traditions from other natural parents. NPN is also featuring snippets of posts from NP bloggers on the topic of whether to encourage children to believe in Santa Claus. (@NatParNet)
• Family Tradition Origins — Momma Jorje discusses her family's traditions, and her desire not to make anyone feel obligated to conform to them.
• Everyday Traditions — For Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children it's the small, daily traditions that make life special.
• Establishing Traditions and Older Child Adoption — MrsH at Fleeting Moments is trying to find ways to start traditions with a family that was made very quickly through birth and adoption.
• Emerging Family Traditions — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares some of her favorite birthday and Christmas traditions. (@bfmom)
• Does Rebellion Count? — Seonaid at the Practical Dilettante has instituted a day of rest and PJs at her house on Christmas. (@seonaid_lee)
• December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Family Traditions — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker tries to give her girls a mix of traditions to foster togetherness — but worries that not being near extended family is a disconnect.
• Craft-tea Christmas Celebrations — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud created a delicious Christmas tradition that she named "Craft-tea."
• A Christmas Tradition — Luschka at Diary of a First Child knows that even though she won't be able to have her usual holiday traditions this year, the important thing is that she has her family. (@lvano)
• Celebrations without the Holiday — Asha at Meta Mom shares several ways to celebrate the winter holidays without focusing on religious traditions. (@metamomma)
• Celebrating the Journey We Have Traveled Together — Acacia at Be Present enjoys the chance to draw closer to her family during the Christmas holiday.
• Celebrating Motherhood — Do you celebrate the day you became a mother? Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers some ideas for traditions to mark your passage into motherhood. (@CodeNameMama)
• Celebrate! Winter Traditions Brought Home. — At True Confessions of a Real Mommy, TrueRealMommy and her family are celebrating many different religions and traditions this month. Stop by to see their schedule of events. (@TrueRealMommy)
• "Always Ready", Holiday Style — Amy at Toddler In Tow discovered that it's not the traditions themselves, but the emotional experience behind them that makes them special.

Baby University: Little Man, My Teacher

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: We're all home schoolers


This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how their children learn at home as a natural part of their day. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


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I'm a high school art teacher, I have been for 6 years.  I work in the public school system so the style of teaching and learning is mandated by the school district I work in.  They do allow for differentiation and creativity so that is fine by me, I can find a way to accommodate my students' learning styles while teaching the required material.  However, this was not my dream teaching scenario.  I fell in love with the Montessori approach when I was in college learning to be a teacher.  I had wanted to see this type of learning in practice because I had attended traditional public schools all my life and it was fascinating to me that you could allow a child to explore their environment at their own pace and through their own interests and that would choose to learn.  This is a novel idea to most teachers of required courses taught to teenagers.
So when I had my son I took an extended maternity leave of six months which, I have just returned to work from, I decided I would allow my child to direct what we did during the six months I had uninterrupted with him.  And so when he arrived I listened patiently to all the advice from the nurses, doctors and my relatives and then threw all that right out the door and waited for Little Man to tell me what to do.  It didn't take him long either.  Though in the beginning the only one learning was me.  I had to learn quickly what all those different cries meant.  The learning curve was a short one.  I think most of you would agree with me that it doesn't take a mother long to figure out what her new little companion desires.  Mine wanted food, diaper changes and sleep.
Soon he developed his own routine which mostly consisted of sleep, diaper change, breastfeeding, burping repeat, which I might add I because very accustomed to myself.  All the while I kept hearing about, sleep training, "eat, play, sleep", the ferber method, The Happiest Baby on the Block, I could go on but since I didn't care to check any of these things out I'll brush over them and move on.  All the while I'm not doing much of anything except catering to the whims of a tiny little person who is quite content in his own view of the world.  I felt bad for the moms that talked to me about this or that method and couldn't get their little one to sleep or eat "properly"  Are you thinking, what I'm thinking?  I felt guilty that my two month old slept through the night and only because he wanted to, I did absolutely nothing.  They would ask and I would tell them we don't have a routine, Little Man does what he wants, when he wants.
But the teacher in me was still asking, "Where's the learning?" The mother in me answered, "Patience, it's coming."  It did, holding up his head for short periods of time since he was born until he could do it for the entire time he was awake by one and half months.  Despite the fact that he HATED "tummy-time" and had a flat spot on his head to show for it he rolled from front to back at three months and then back to front a week later.  Army crawling came at four months, when he saw something he wanted he went for it.  He used his face as a fifth appendage but he made it to where he was going.  He passed objects from hand to hand around the same time as well.  He did all of this without any real coaching or teaching from me, just because he wanted to at that time.
So you may ask, "What is it that you have taught your baby?"  I actually found out what I taught him the first day I returned to work and he had to go to daycare.  When I arrived to pick up my baby, I thought I would hear from his teachers that he cried and was not comfortable at daycare.  That he might still be crying when I got there and I would scoop him up into my arms and rush to nurse him so that he would feel better.  What did I find?  My son playing with a truck on the floor with another baby, completely uninterested in being interrupted in that moment.  I was surprised and a little miffed but mostly I was relieved and proud, I taught him independence and self-confidence.  So, just how did I do this when I never set a routine nor followed a single baby guru book nor force my child to do the appropriate developmental exercise to achieve those milestones?  I breastfed him.  He felt secure in our bond that it is okay for us to be apart for an extended (11 hours) period of time during the day.  As I reflect back on the past six months with my boy I realize that there was so much learning going on despite my lack of teaching and that I was learning too.  It was nice not to be scheduled and given mandate teaching instructions for your day and how this skill was to be taught.

***
Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated September 14 with all the carnival links.)

• A is for Apple {But right now it's more fun to pick apples!} — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment has a four-year-old who wisely knows she must forgo the worksheets for now and do things with her mother if she's going to learn.
• Baby Talks — Amy at Anktangle talks, talks, talks all day long to her preverbal baby, about simple things and complexities. (@anktangle)
• Baby University: Little Man, My Teacher — The ArtsyMama shares how her relaxed and patient "teaching" at home resulted in a confident little one when she returned to work.
• Creating a Sensory Garden — A sensory garden has given Marita at Stuff With Thing and her girls practice in math, science, budgeting, fine motor skills, and more. (@leechbabe)
• Despite the Big Yellow Bus — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante has surprised many friends by sending her kids off to mainstream schooling — but their learning doesn't stop there. (@seonaid_lee)
• Down on the Farm — Megan at Purple Dancing Dhalias describes the multitude of skills her children learn by homeschooling on a farm.
• Early Childhood Education — First Do No Harm — Laura at Laura's Blog provides an incredible list of tips to facilitate learning at home.
• Education Starts At Home — Luschka at Diary of a First Child was happy to realize that learning at home isn't limited to older children. (@lvano)
• Every Day Is A School Day — Summer at Finding Summer lists the ways her family learns in this poem of a post. (@summerminor)
• hands on — the grumbles at grumbles and grunts read her little one Sherlock Holmes in utero. She'll continue to make learning fun now that he's on this side of the womb. (@thegrumbles)
• Have a Happy Heart — Erica at ChildOrganics has days of poop on the couch and oatmeal down the pants when sending her children to school seems like the perfect solution — until she regains her perspective. (@childorganics)
• Home Sweet Home Schooling — Check out CurlyMonkey's Blog for a photo montage of how her kids are learning anatomy, architecture, and more — all at home. (@curlymonkey_)
• Homeschooling — My Needs? — Do you homeschool for the kids, or do you do it for you? Read some thoughts from Home Grown Families. (@momtosprouts)
• Homeschooling: A Way of Life — Kimberly at Homeschooling in Nova Scotia has children who meet learning with enthusiasm and are becoming self-sufficient at a young age. (@UsborneBooksCB)
• How We Homeschooled — Deb at Living Montessori Now details in retrospect how her two lifelong learners spent their homeschooling years. (@DebChitwood)
• Learning at Home With a Preschooler and Toddler — Need some inspiration? Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her tips and resources for lifelong learning. (@TheParentVortex)
• Learning at Home: Are We All Homeschoolers? — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings incorporates homeschool ideas even though she plans to send her kids to school. (@sunfrog)
• Learning From Life — Mamapoekie at Authentic Parenting doesn't even have to think about how her daughter learns. She just does it. (@mamapoekie)
• Learning Through Play — What better way to learn at home than through play? Dionna at Code Name: Mama lists the many ways children learn through play, whether they know it or not. (@CodeNameMama)
• Learning With Savoury Pikelets — Deb at Science@Home breaks down how cooking facilitates learning. (@ScienceMum)
• Lessons Learned by Bowling (Yes, Bowling) — What life lessons can you learn from bowling? Ask Jessica from This is Worthwhile. (@tisworthwhile)
• Life is learning, learning is life. — Kristin, guest posting at Janet Fraser — Where birth and feminism intersect, defends the truth that children are hardwired to learn. (@JoyousLearning)
• life learning... — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children found that structured schooling is about teaching, whereas unschooling is about learning, and her family resonated with the latter.
• Live to Learn Together — RealMommy at True Confessions of a Real Mommy knows that children learn in all different styles, so only one-on-one attention can do the trick.
• Natural Parenting and the Working Mom — Jenny from Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares how natural parenting in the Philippines — and learning at home — includes "yayas" (nannies). (@crazydigger)
• Not Back to School: How We Learn at Home — Denise at This Holistic Life has learned to describe what unschooling is, rather than what it isn't.
• Our Learning Curve — Andrea of Ella-Bean & Co. has a special bookshelf set up where her daughter can explore the world on her own terms.
• School at Our House — Where is learning happening at Kellie at Our Mindful Life's house? It is pouring all over the floor. It is digging down deep in the earth. It is everywhere!
• Schooling Three Little Piggies — Despite the mess and the chaos, Melissa at White Noise lets her children into the kitchen.
• SuperMom versus The Comic Books of Doom! — Mommy Soup at Cream of Mommy Soup realized that if "getting the kids to read" was the goal, it didn't matter what the kids read. (@mommysoup)
• The joy of learning at home — Heather at Life, Gluten Free has a daughter who sees magic in the stars and understands the honeybees. (@lifeglutenfree)
• those who can't teach — Do you need a superiority complex to homeschool? Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wonders.
• Too lazy to unschool? — If unschoolers aren't lazy, Lauren at Hobo Mama wonders if she's too lazy to live her dream of free-form education. (@Hobo_Mama)
• Unschooling the School of Me — Rachael at The Variegated Life considers what she's teaching her son about work as a work-at-home mother — and the extreme work ethic she doesn't want him to emulate. (@RachaelNevins)
• What We Do All Day — Alison at BluebirdMama discovered that it's easier than she thought it would be to quantify how her child learns all day. (@childbearing)
• Who taught that kid ‘exoskeleton’? — Nervous about how you will facilitate learning at home? Don't be - they will absorb things on their own! Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma shares her story. (@kitchenwitch)