I'm moving!

I am excited to announce the launch of my new website - The Artful Mama.  Blogger will always have a place in my heart but I want to grow as a writer and needed to spread my wings.  If you have enjoyed my posts and want to continue exploring attachment parenting and balancing work join me at my new home away from home.  Hope to see you there.

Wordless Wednesday: 15 Months of Nursing!

Irresponsibility on Television: Sleep Training

There are only a few shows that I watch on a somewhat regular basis - mostly because I don't have time anymore.  If I do get the opportunity and the urge to start bedtime is not an overwhelming draw I will sit and watch something.  I had such an opportunity tonight and now I wish I hadn't.  Fox has some hits and misses.
I love Glee and had grown fond of Raising Hope the show about a single dad raising his daughter while living with his young parents and crazy grandmother.  Most of the time the show presents parenting situations in a funny and amusing way.  This episode was not one of them.  It was about their attempts to 'sleep train' Hope.  The parents are friends with an affluent couple who appears to have it all together.  They get into a conversation and suggest that the family sleep-train Hope so they can make her more independent and a self-soother.  Typically that particular family is held as a comparison to the main family as they look like they have it all together but they have managed to create a jerk of a son and are materialistic. While the main family might struggle with finances but their son is being responsible for his child and is a genuinely nice person.

Call for Submissions for Monday's Mamas

The ArtsyMama was started as a personal blog for an attached parent returning to work after the birth of her first son.  Shannon the writer of The ArtsyMama had found an online community of natural and attached parents during her time home with her son but had not found one for working parents who practice AP.  She began her blog as a way to discuss her thoughts and feelings, her triumphs, successes and even her pitfalls that came up while she was venturing into this new didactic of AP Mama and Working Mama.

Why Nurse a Toddler?

This post was written for inclusion in the April Carnival of Breastfeeding brought to you my Elita of Blacktating and Tanya of The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog.  This month's theme is on Extended Breastfeeding.  Please check out the other submissions listed at the end of the post.
***

Little Man on his Birthday!

I guess to really answer this question I have to start at the beginning.  Our start was extremely difficult - I was told I was not nursing him correctly and to use a Supplemental Nursing System and to supplement with formula or pumped milk.  This was so awkward to do and I did not want to use formula that I resorted to exclusive pumping.  I did this round the clock for two, very long and stressful months.  During month three I finally got help from a lactation consultant and was able to learn how to nurse properly.  At month six, I returned to work, which meant back to pumping.  I struggled to maintain an adequate supply for my son while I was away at work.  I ended up having to supplement because I could not keep up.  At month ten, I read a great article from Natural Parents Network and began bed-sharing to increase my supply and to get some much needed sleep.  Finally, I was getting the hang of this nursing thing after months of struggling.

Squiggling during Christmas Festivities

So we've continued to nurse now at thirteen (almost fourteen) months.  I have finally found the light at the end of our tunnel that most nursing moms struggle with and overcome earlier.  Our plan of action will be to continue nursing until we decide it is no longer right for us.  Hopefully, this will continue to be his decision and not mine.
This newly discovered ease of nursing has arrived just in time for toddler antics.  My son - who probably knew what to do all along anyway - can now nurse while trying to stand on his head.  He can walk up to me at home, lift my shirt, nurse and then off he goes.  He can nurse while thwarting my attempts at writing (or pepper it with his own little flair).  Or he can have days where he is so distracted that he ignores me completely and only settles down for a marathon feed at bedtime.
Nursing, has magic healing powers.  If he falls while trying to chase down the cat - nursing makes it better super-quick so he can be off again!  If he is feeling awkward, nervous or shy in a new place, we can quietly nurse until he feels confident enough to engage the situation.  We nurse when he is cranky or tired because he feels relaxed and peaceful in my arms.
Our nursing bond has helped me as well.  When I've had a stressful day at work, I can reconnect and let go with my child in my arms.  His wiggling and squiggling remind me of the love we share and how much fun we have together.  All the day's stresses melt away when I look in his eyes.  That moment is ours and ours alone to share with each other.
Now that we have reached this point in our nursing journey I have been able to assist other mothers who may be struggling with their own nursing relationship.  I have been able to share my story with others and help them find the resources that they need in order to continue.  I model breastfeeding as normal no matter where we are so that future parents see it and become comfortable with it.  I share my extra milk with mothers who need it to feed their children.  I nurse a toddler - because I can nurse a toddler.

Carnival Participants:

Mamapoeki from Authentic Parenting: Extended Breastfeeding?

Mama Alvina of Ahava & Amara Life Foundation: Breastfeeding Journey Continues

Elita @ Blacktating: The Last Time That Never Was

Diana Cassar-Uhl, IBCLC: Old enough to ask for it

Karianna @ Caffeinated Catholic Mama: A Song for Mama’s Milk

Judy @ Mommy News Blog: My Favorite Moments

Tamara Reese @ Kveller: Extended Breastfeeding

Jenny @ Chronicles of a Nursing Mom: The Highs and Lows of Nursing a Toddler

Christina @ MFOM: Natural-Term Breastfeeding

Rebekah @ Momma’s Angel: My Sleep Breakthrough

Suzi @ Attachedattheboob: Why I love nursing a toddler

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl: My Hopes for Tandem Nursing

Elisa @ blissfulE: counter cultural: extended breastfeeding

Momma Jorje: Extended Breastfeeding, So Far!

Stephanie Precourt from Adventures in Babywearing: “Continued Breastfeeding”: straight from the mouths of babes

The Accidental Natural Mama: Nurse on, Mama

Sarah @ Reproductive Rites: Gratitude for extended breastfeeding

Nikki @ On Becoming Mommy: The Little Things

Dr. Sarah @ Good Enough Mum: Breastfeeding for longer than a year: myths, facts and what the research really shows

Amy @ WIC City: (Extended) Breastfeeding as Mothering

The Artsy Mama: Why Nurse a Toddler?

Christina @ The Milk Mama: The best thing about breastfeeding

TopHot @ the bee in your bonnet: From the Mouths of Babes

Beth @ Bethstedman.com: Extended Breastfeeding: To Wean Or Not To Wean

Callista @ Callista’s Ramblings:  Pressure To Stop Breastfeeding

Amanda @ Postilius: Nursing My Toddler Keeps My Baby Close

Sheryl @ Little Snowflakes: Tandem Nursing- The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Zoie @ Touchstone Z: Breastfeeding Flavors

Lauren @ Hobo Mama: Same old, same old: Extended breastfeeding

Tanya @ Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: Six misconceptions about extended breastfeeding

Jona (Breastfeedingtwins.org): Breastfeeding older twins

Motherlove Herbal Company: Five reasons to love nursing a toddler

Special Inclusion:
Dulce de Leche: What is it Like to Breastfeed an Older Child

A Tale of Four Milky Mamas

Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they advocate for healthy, gentle parenting choices compassionately. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

The second principle of attachment parenting is to “feed with love and respect.” This means to practice full term breastfeeding if possible and to respond to baby with love and respect regardless of whether you are feeding using your breast or a bottle. I would like to share how I do both in my life and also how I help other moms to do the same.

I have nursed Little Man for 13 months and 14 days as of the publishing of this article. I have done this because it is his choice when to stop nursing. For the first 2 months he was bottle fed my milk as I exclusively pumped. I pumped my milk for him because I had been given improper medical advice. I had little support and nearly lost my supply. I had to supplement his diet. At first I did not know that I had any other option other than formula and because of my parenting choices - I felt like I had failed my son. When my childhood friend found out that I was supplementing and how upset I was by it - she offered me her freezer of pumped milk. I can never thank her enough and could never repay the debt I feel I owe her.

I returned to traditional breastfeeding and was able to raise my supply with the support of the same friend and a lactation consultant. My supply returned and I was able to feed Little Man in the way I wanted. I returned to work though and again my supply dropped and I was struggling to keep up. I found help through Natural Parenting Network and was able to begin co-sleeping to raise my supply. I was also able to start my own small freezer of milk.

A few days before Little Man's first birthday, I looked in our freezer at the small amount of milk I had been hoarding just in case I ran out and needed more. It was going to expire faster then I could have defrosted it and had him drink it. I did not want it to go to waste - I've worked so hard to maintain a milk supply over the past year. It would be a slap in the face if I tossed it out so I jumped on Facebook and searched out the page I'd heard talk of before but never paid much attention to before, Eats on Feets - now Human Milk 4 Human Babies (HB4HB). I followed the links to find my local chapter, I posted under the 'Milk to Share' discussion and waited.

Luckily, I did not wait long as I might have changed my mind. Anne contacted me in need of milk for her daughter. Her email was short and she was direct.

Hello. I saw your post on Eats and Feets and would be very interested in picking up any spare milk you may have for my daughter. Thanks so much. Anne

Since I had no experience being on the giving side I had no idea what to expect. My donor had been a lifelong friend who had offered me extra milk when I was in need. This was a stranger - who did not know me and was trusting me with the well being of her child. I replied to the email, asking her where she was located and where I was generally located. We made a plan to meet at the local Babies R Us at 10 am.

I waited apprehensively in my car. I had forwarded what little information I knew about this woman to my husband - just in case[1] It was a rainy Sunday so I did not get out of the car as I had planned to wait for her. The store was not open yet anyway. I watched out my window and the mirrors at the strangers in the parking lot for any sign of the look I had worn on my face not so long ago. It is a mixture of desperation, fear and hope. Finally I saw her, my phone rang and we connected. It was a very short exchange. I put my small donation in her cooler along with the note I had hastily written about defrosting and storage - I had no idea if she was accustomed to this method of storage and feeding. We exchanged awkward goodbyes and ran to our separate cars. I called my husband - told him I was done and drove home.

When I got there and the pit of anxiety had faded - I emailed Anne again and told her that if she ever found herself in need again to please call, text or email and I would try to give her what I could. I did not hear from her for a few days but I finally got a message. She thanked me and told me that her daughter had liked my milk and she was grateful. It was at that moment that I felt I had come full circle. I was actually on my way to see my former donor when I got that message for dinner. I thought to myself, ‘I can do this, I can help other moms.’

After the initial excitement wore off an old familiar feeling crept over me: ‘What if I lose my supply again?’  What would I do for milk?  How can I feed two babies when I struggled to feed just one a few months ago?

I decided to answer Anne’s call whenever she called me if I had spare milk. I could not stress myself out over the what-if’s in life. I have since been able to donate about 90 ounces to Anne over three separate occasions - that is a lot when you think I used to struggle with my supply day-to-day. I still do not know Anne well but she is my sister-mama. I help with what I can to ensure that Anne is able to feed with love and respect however she chooses to feed her daughter.

Shortly after meeting Anne I began an extreme fitness program which has an included diet plan. I was initially worried that the plan my hinder my milk production. Well quite the opposite is true - my milk has increased and some of the worry I felt about feeding Little Man and Anne’s daughter has disappeared. I met another mom, Joy on Natural Parents Network who was struggling with her supply and thought that her only option would be to wean. I reached out to Joy and shared my experience and advice with her.

This was her response which still brings fresh tears to my eyes.

First, thank you so much for taking the time to write me your advice! The nerves, the uncertainty I was feeling left as soon as I started to read. It's amazing what other's words can do for you! You made me realize how I had slowly let myself forget about still eating for 2 and needing to get [all] my calories! The same day you wrote I heard from another lady about how I should be having a lot of protein and that was a first. I'm not big into meat but I'm working on getting protein into my diet. I do eat a lot of spinach but hadn't touched it once in the last week so I went right back to that too! It all WORKED!!!!! My milk has been dropping, and [now] I'm getting more!!! It's wonderful!!!!!! Thank you so much for you[r] advice! I prayed that God would see me through this, however that needed to happen, and you were an answer to [my] prayers! Thanks again SO much![2]

I cannot express how happy any of this makes me to be able to not only continue my own choices in parenting but to help other moms to do the same. If someone pays you a kindness today - look for the opportunity to do the same for someone else. You never know how far you can go.

Resources

Calorie Calculator for Women from About.com
Which foods can boost your milk supply? from Motherwear Blog


1. In retrospect this seems very silly. However, being the daughter of a retired police officer, living in the region of the US that I do my guard is always up. Even more so since Little Man came along and was in the car.
2. Response edited for readability only.

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Natural Parenting Advocacy by Example — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction uses her blog, Twitter and Facebook as her natural parenting soapbox.
• You Catch More Flies With Honey — When it comes to natural parenting advice, Kate of The Guavalicious Life believes you catch more flies with honey.
• From the Heart — Patti at Jazzy Mama searches her heart for an appropriate response when she learns that someone she respects wants his baby to cry-it-out.
• I Offer the Truth — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares the hard truths to inspire parents in making changes and fully appreciating the parenting experience.
• Advocating or Just Opinionated? — Momma Jorje discusses how to draw the line between advocating compassionately and being just plain opinionated. It can be quite a fine line.
• Compassionate Advocacy — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting writes about how to discuss topics you are passionate about with people who don't share your views.
• Heiny Helpers: Sharing Cloth Love — Heiny Helpers is guest posting on Natural Parents Network to share how they are providing cloth diapers and cloth diapering support to low income families.
• Struggling with Advocacy — April of McApril still struggles to determine how strongly she should advocate for her causes, but still loves to show her love for her parenting choices to those who would like to listen.
• Compassionate Advocacy Through Blogging (AKA –Why I Blog) — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how both blogging and day-to-day life give her opportunities to compassionately advocate for natural parenting practices.
• A Letter to *Those* Parents — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares how to write an informed yet respectful reply to those parents — you know, the ones who don't parent the way you do.
• Why I Am Not A Homebirth Advocate — Olivia at Write About Birth is coming out: she is a homebirth mom, but not a homebirth advocate. One size does not fit all – but choice is something we can all advocate for!
• Why I Open My Big Mouth — Wolfmother from Fabulous Mama Chronicles reflects on why she is passionate about sharing parenting resources.
• Watching and Wearing — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life advocates the joys of babywearing simply by living life in a small college town.
• Compassionate Advocacy . . . That's The Way I Do It — Amyables at Toddler in Tow describes how she's learned to forsake judgment and channel her social energy to spread the "good news" of natural parenting through interaction and shared experiences.
• Compelling without repelling — Lauren at Hobo Mama cringes when she thinks of the obnoxious way she used to berate people into seeing her point of view.
• I Am the Change — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro describes a recent awakening where she realized exactly how to advocate for natural parenting.
• Public Displays of Compassion — The Accidental Natural Mama recounts an emotional trip to the grocery store and the importance of staying calm and compassionate in the storm of toddler emotions.
• I will not hide behind my persona — Suzi Leigh at Attached at the Boob discusses the benefits of being honest and compassionate on the internet.
• Choosing My Words — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares why she started her blog and why she continues to blog despite an increasingly hectic schedule.
• Honour the Child :: Compassionate Advocacy in the Classroom — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree shares her experience of being a gentle and compassionate parent — with other people's children — as a classroom volunteer in her daughter's senior kindergarten room.
• Inspired by the Great Divide (and Hoping to Inspire) — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis shares her thoughts on navigating the "great divide" through gently teaching and being teachable.
• Introverted Advocacy — CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy shares how she advocates for gentle parenting, even though she is about as introverted as one can be.
• The Three R's of Effective and Gentle Advocacy — Ana at Pandamoly explains how "The Three R's" can yield consistent results and endless inspiration to those in need of some change.
• Passionate and Compassionate: How do We do It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares the importance of understanding your motivation for advocacy.
• Sharing the love — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about how she shares the love and spreads the word.
• What Frank Said — Nada at miniMOMist has a good friend named Frank. She uses his famous saying to demonstrate how much natural parenting has benefited her and her family.
• Baby Sling Carriers Make Great Compassionate Advocacy Tools — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shared her babywearing knowledge — and her sling — with a new mom.
• Everyday Superheroes — Who needs Superman when we have a community of compassionate advocates?! Dionna at Code Name: Mama believes that our community of gentle bloggers are the true superheroes.
• Words of advice: compassionately advocating for my parenting choices — MrsH at Fleeting Moments waits to give advice until she's been asked, resulting in fewer advocacy moments but very high responsiveness from parents all over the spectrum of parenting approaches.
• Peaceful Parenting — Peaceful parenting shows at Living Peacefully with Children with an atypical comment from a stranger.
• Speaking for birth — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud soul-searches about how she can advocate for natural birth without causing offense.
• Gentle is as Gentle Does — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how she is gently advocating her parenting style.
• Walking on Air — Rachael at The Variegated Life wants you to know that she has no idea what she's doing — and it's a gift.
• Parenting with my head, my heart, and my gut — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her thoughts on being a compassionate advocate of natural parenting as a blogger.
• At Peace With the World — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry talks about being an advocate for peaceful parenting at 10,000 feet.
• Putting a public face on "holistic" — Being public about her convictions is a must for Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama, but it takes some delicacy.
• Just Be; Just Do. — Amy at Anktangle believes strongly about her parenting methods, and also that the way to get people to take notice is to simply live her life and parent the best she knows how.
• One Parent at a Time... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that advocating for Natural Parenting is best accomplished by walking the walk.
• Self-compassion — We're great at caring for and supporting others —from our kiddos to other mamas — but Lisa at Gems of Delight shares a post about treating ourselves with that same sense of compassion.
• Using Montessori Principles to Advocate Natural Parenting — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells how she uses Montessori principles to be a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.
• Advocacy? Me? — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers that by "just doing her thing," she may be advocating for natural parenting.
• Feeding by Example — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip shares her experience of being the first one of her generation to parent.
• Compassionate Consumerism — Erica at ChildOrganics encourages her children to be compassionate consumers and discusses the benefits of buying local and fair trade products.
• The Importance of Advocating Compassionately — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood acts as a compassionate advocate by sharing information with many in the hopes of reaching a few.
• Some Thoughts on Gentle Discipline — Darcel at The Mahogany Way shares her thoughts and some tips on Gentle Discipline.
• Compassionate Advocacy: Sharing Resources, Spreading the Love — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle shares how her passion for making natural choices in pregnancy, birth, and parenting have supported others in Dominica and beyond.
• A journey to compassion and connection — Jessica at Instead of Institutions shares her journey from know-it-all to authentic advocacy.
• Advocacy Through Openness, Respect, and Understanding — Melissa at The New Mommy Files describes her view on belief, and how it has shaped the way she advocates for gentle parenting choices.
• Why I'm not an advocate for Natural Parenting — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog delivers the shocking news that, after 10 years of being a mum, she is NOT an advocate for natural parenting!
• Natural Love Creates Natural Happiness — A picture is worth a thousand words, but how about a smile, or a giggle, or a gaze? Jessica at Cloth Diapering Mama’s kids are extremely social and their natural happiness is very obvious.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy — Even in the progressive SF Bay Area, Lily at Witch Mom finds she must defend some of her parenting choices.
• A Tale of Four Milky Mamas — In this post The ArtsyMama shares how she has found ways to repay her childhood friend for the gift of milk.
• don't tell me what to do — Pecky at benny and bex demonstrates compassionate advocacy through leading by example.

Wordless Wednesday: Boba Sleep

We move and breathe together
it is a rhythm we create
mine slow and deep - your's soft and sweet.

Really, My Breastmilk is Turning to Water!?

I recently asked a question on an online forum for natural parenting about whether the exercise program I was planning to use would effect my supply.  It was reposted by the moderator and I got really positive answers and support - that told me to monitor myself and if I saw changes modify my routine.  Awesome I thought - now I'm going to jump right in there.  A friend of mine check my original post and asked if I had seen the lone reply?  So I checked and it was not something I was expecting from a forum full of extended nursers and natural parents.

Ten Things I Wish I Knew Before Little Man

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***
There are things that I know now that I wish I knew then.  I cannot say I regret my decisions but I would have liked to have the information on most of these items before.

This Moment: Sunday

Today Little Man, I wanted to share our sleep. From the moment you were born I couldn't take my eyes off of you. After what felt like an eternity when they had you in the nursery to run their tests and clean you up - finally they brought you back. You were asleep in the hospital bassinet.
So quiet, so still. If I wasn't already completely in love with you, I was now. Everyone told me to sleep, when you sleep. How could I? That would mean I wouldn't be able to study your face and commit it all to memory. To be honest another reason I watched you so much when you were brand new was to make sure you were ok.

Wordless Wednesday: Sneak Peek DITL

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

When Growing Up Means Growing Out of Routines

A much happier Little Man

This post is going to serve a two-fold purpose.  The first will be a response to my post from yesterday about my first awful night with Little Man where I handled it incorrectly and how I can handle it starting now and in the future.  The second part is to begin growing out of my routines as well.

So we have been going along happily with a plan and following our routine that we have grown accustomed to and out of nowhere[1] Little Man decides this plan doesn't work anymore.  At this point there are two choices for me - and you if you find yourself in the same situation, fight or embrace the change.  There is also an important opportunity which can test the muster of our parenting skills for the future.

Intuition and Sleep Deprivation

I am and have been continually amazed by Little Man's gift of intuition. In his non-verbal state he still has been able to navigate this busy complicated world he lives in. He is able to recognize the needs of others and determine which individual will be able to meet his needs at the time. Other times it seems like he has a sixth sense about future events that allow him to alter his schedule so he disrupts the schedules of others in his life without a negative outcome, namely his mama and dada.

Being Spoiled

So I'm bored. I just got Little Man back to sleep and I decided to play on my iPhone a bit. I have basically given up on the app that saved me from boredom and loneliness after Little Man was born but sometimes I browse just to see what is going on. I got annoyed with it because the women I knew stopped using it and the new ones loved drama and I just was to busy chasing an exploring baby, working full-time and trying to keep house and marriage intact. So basically I outgrew it.
That doesn't mean though that during moments of boredom I don't take a peek and see if there is anything that interests me or that I might be able to drop some hard earned wisdom or point of view to the many repetitive questions new mothers often have. Most of the time though I think better of answering, to avoid drama, and shut the app down.
This morning though I found a topic I wanted to talk about here. Babies being considered spoiled or not. The question was about "Cry it Out" or CIO as it is referred to. I hate CIO. I think it is a terrible thing to do to any child. I know there are other less stress inducing ways to teach your child to sleep if that is your goal and you can find an excellent resource here which has a great explanation of the reason why not to CIO as well.
The way the question was stated was "I know babies under 6 months can't be spoiled but..." That is the part of the statement that caught my attention about this post. Someone put a time limit on the ability of a child to remain innocent and sweet. I was not aware that there was a magic cut off date that babies turned 6 months and if you did any of the things you did before with your child you were going to spoil them. I did a little research and found that this is apparently backed by some scientific research which I found on Wikipedia in an article about "Spoiled Children".  Way down at the bottom in the box about Parenting was there mention of Attachment Parenting and Dr. Sears.  
I followed the link on Attachment theory and it is lengthy but I really think the box on 'Child and caregiver behavior patterns before 18 months' really underlines my point.  By responding to your child's needs in an appropriate and consistent manner you are creating a secure attachment model for your child.  As a teacher I've come across some individuals that I might put the label of "spoiled" on but they displayed characteristics of being ungrateful when they are given time, knowledge or material things.  I don't know how they got to be that way but I don't feel that if when they were babies their parents had let them stand alone in a crib screaming their heads off would have helped the matter.  My experience has been that children who don't get their parents time and attention are more likely to be considered spoiled when they are older.
Little Man is turning 10 months on Christmas and I have put a lot of thought into whether or not I am "spoiling" him by carrying him, letting him nurse-down, bed-sharing and dare I say it, picking him up when he cries.  These were not the things my mother told me was the right thing to do with a baby, but this isn't my mother's family or decision to make either.  To be honest my mother picks him up when he cries as well and when she visits she brings him to me in my bed, in the middle of the night as well.  So for now I'll be a little less rested and have less time for my own interests but I'm raising my son, so for me there is nothing more interesting or important that can't wait until he's comfortable and secure enough to be on his own.  If that means that like my father, who has a room full of models waiting and collecting since his honeymoon, that I don't pick up a paintbrush or camera until I retire and Little Man moves out so be it.

How could anyone say that someone with that face could be spoiled?

Thankful for Peace of Mind

So I ran through my back-up supply of pumped milk months ago and had been existing day to day and supplementing with formula as needed. Well I am thankful to be able to say I put 30oz in the freezer this morning and had enough in the fridge for today as well.
I had stockpiled my extra milk from the 6th on because I was going to a wedding this week and needed bottles for my sister-in-law while she watched him. Amazingly enough I didn't need to add any pumping sessions to make this milk. I just always had more milk then I needed for that day. This hasn't happened in awhile. Probably since a little after I returned to work.
So what is the difference between what I did before I returned to work, what I was doing when I returned to work and now? The time I spent with Little Man. Before returning to work I spent my entire day holding/nursing/watching him. I mostly sat at "mission control" with him eating, sleeping, playing on a boppy on my lap. I had all I needed for him plus enough to pump and store for my impending return to work. When I returned to work though the story changed I saw him awake for only 4 hours, he slept 8-9 hours in his crib so he didn't see me before I left for work and rarely woke in the middle of the night to nurse. My supply dwindled and I dipped into the stockpile until it too was gone. Leaving formula and what little milk I could pump.
For the past two months he was getting up 2-3 times a night and nursing. Great for him bad for Mama who needed sleep to teach during the day. So I finally got over my fears and started a modified cosleeping arrangement. He starts the night in the crib he gets up I bring him in with me, nurse and sleep until hubby comes home then he brings him back to crib. When he wakes again I bring him in and he stays until my alarm then he goes back to crib and I start my day. We've been doing this routine for a month and now I see a difference in my supply and the dark circles around my eyes (plus). So now I'm in the market for a cosleeper. My frugal and crafty side says I might be able to make my own. I am going to look at the bedroll one and see if I can get some supplies and sew it myself. My more practical (read overextended) side says just buy the thing. We'll see which one wins.

Where's my sleep?

So it turns out that cold is a sinus infection. Last night I spent propped up in my bed with Little Man asleep on my chest (thank you Lauren@HoboMama) I didn't sleep well but at least Little Man did. Tonight he'll probably be in bed with me too, since it worked to help him sleep.
My poor husband tried to help us last night but Little Man just wanted Mama and made Daddy sad even though he finally said Dada instead of calling Daddy, Baba just the night before.
Hopefully tonight goes better even though it's nearly 9:30 and I haven't started bedtime but am allowing him to sleep on me in the living room. So wish us luck.

Spoke too soon

So I'm tired and happy. Little Man woke twice last night and wanted to snuggle and nurse with Mama. So for now at least I think I'll sleep peacefully if yet interrupted. Off to work after I pump again.

A little sad

So for the past two nights Little Man only nursed from one side and only got up once last night. I thought I would think this is great after three straight weeks of struggles to go to bed and then two to three wakings during the night but now I'm not sure.
Granted my supply has dipped so this extra opportunity to pump at night and somewhat fuller breasts in the morning has helped these two mornings but...I'm sad that I'm missing out on the nursing time. I didn't realize how important it was to me.
I never set a goal as to when I would end breastfeeding I just felt I would nurse as long as he wanted to unless there came a situation that I wasn't able to continue. But lately weening and extended breastfeeding have been on my mind. (Check out Breastfeeding Moms Unite) How does it all work. No one I know has done extended breastfeeding except one cousin in England but we aren't all that close and she was a stay at home mom.
I also now worry that one day he will self-ween and I won't be ready. I know he still values it because he bumped his head today and immediately reached for "milk-milk" and settled right down.
Still not sure which is better though: his needing it more and my lost sleep or his needing it less and my worried heart.