Spoke too soon

So I'm tired and happy. Little Man woke twice last night and wanted to snuggle and nurse with Mama. So for now at least I think I'll sleep peacefully if yet interrupted. Off to work after I pump again.

A little sad

So for the past two nights Little Man only nursed from one side and only got up once last night. I thought I would think this is great after three straight weeks of struggles to go to bed and then two to three wakings during the night but now I'm not sure.
Granted my supply has dipped so this extra opportunity to pump at night and somewhat fuller breasts in the morning has helped these two mornings but...I'm sad that I'm missing out on the nursing time. I didn't realize how important it was to me.
I never set a goal as to when I would end breastfeeding I just felt I would nurse as long as he wanted to unless there came a situation that I wasn't able to continue. But lately weening and extended breastfeeding have been on my mind. (Check out Breastfeeding Moms Unite) How does it all work. No one I know has done extended breastfeeding except one cousin in England but we aren't all that close and she was a stay at home mom.
I also now worry that one day he will self-ween and I won't be ready. I know he still values it because he bumped his head today and immediately reached for "milk-milk" and settled right down.
Still not sure which is better though: his needing it more and my lost sleep or his needing it less and my worried heart.

Getting back my sanity

So now that I've had my first full week of no field hockey after work I'm seeing improvements. My supply had dipped so low that I had run out of freezer back up milk and had to resort to supplementing with formula for three bottles a day. (I wasn't to heartbroken about this but it wasn't my first choice of nutrition for Little Man).
This morning I was able to leave the five bottles he needs plus an extra 5oz. Another plus of coming home earlier as I had mentioned in my last post of getting more nursing time has brought about another return to normalcy. He actually slept from 9:30-9am. He hadn't done that in quite some time and had been getting up three to four times a night to nurse. Even though I love nursing him it was getting a little desperate with the lack of sleep and my long days. So now that we have the extra two hours together I can relax a little more and worry about one less bottle a day. So really big extra points for having more time with him.

So nice (sigh of relief)

I'm finished with my season of field hockey and it is so nice to pick up Little Man 2 hours earlier then I have been. I get more nursing time and that means less bottles to worry about and more cuddle time.
It also great because it was getting pretty scary for me. I was having a lot of difficulty keeping up and I was having anxiety attacks in the middle of the night when he'd get up to eat. So now I can breathe a little easier and pump better and most importantly spend time with my Little Man.